Chips, Soup, Heart

On the card rive home from preschool, Blaisey, crunch crunch crunch, said, "You wanna know," crunch crunch crunch, "what my favorite part of," crunch crunch crunch, "veggie chips is?"

I said, "What's your favorite part of veggie chips, bubba?"

Crunch crunch crunch. "I like," crunch crunch crunch, "how veggie they are."

That's a good thing, I think, to like about something -- how very it it is.

So she was having a snack in the car, and then we were home and playing build-a-house-with-two-armchairs-an-umbrella-and-sixteen-stuffed-animals, while I cooked dinner. We had plans to play Super Mario Bros. 3 after we ate -- that always gives us something to look forward to: the hope that we might pass beat level 8 and get to the final boss. Just before dinner was ready, Blaisey asked what we were having. I said, "Taco soup."

She said, "I don't like taco soup."

"This," I told her, "isn't a restaurant."

"I know. But can I just have a chocolate heart instead?"

"No, you cannot."

"Hmmm. Okay." She shrugged. No harm in asking, I suppose. "Well, then, can I just have two chocolate hearts?"

I said, "No, you get taco soup. You get what you get."

She said, "And you don't throw a fit." Ha! You can train kids just like chimpanzees and giraffes. "Okay. Since I don't like taco soup, can I have a chocolate heart after I eat some."

I told her she could have a chocolate heart after dinner, but that I bet she would like the soup.

"I'll bet you're wrong," she told me.

After her second bowl of soup, I said, "See, you like the soup don't you?"

She put a finger on her chin and said, "Well, I like it good enough to get a chocolate heart."

After biting into the heart, she said, "Uh-oh, I think this heart has peanut butter in it."

Here we go again. "Bubba," I said, "you're not allergic to peanut butter."

"Daddy! Don't tell me what I'm not allergic to."

"But you're not." I tried to explain that just because someone in her school is allergic to peanut butter, doesn't mean she's going to be.

She said, "Daddy, I know that I'm not allergic to all peanut butters. Just the kinds that aren't like this one."

"What's the difference between this peanut butter and the kinds you're allergic to?" I had to ask.

"This one," she scientifically explained, "is wrapped in chocolate."

So, fellow allergy sufferers world round, if it makes you sneeze, swell up, or puff shut, just wrap it in chocolate. This spring's gonna be a totally different world: look out pollen baring trees.

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